Welcome to Module Four. This module is so important. It’s mostly about YOU. So many parenting programs just focus on the child and don’t realise the importance of helping the mother have the inner and outer skills, self-care and the community support she needs. All of these are a MUST for getting the best results and changes that really last.
Remember back to the days before you had children. Think about how you managed your moods and emotional & physical stress. You knew what you needed to be able to cope and get yourself back to ‘being in the green’ part of your brain. You had your strategies, and all you had to think about was (mostly) yourself!
Now things are different. You have a child or children (and some would say a partner too!). You may be using some of the same helpful strategies to cope as you did earlier, but still feel so depleted! What you’re most likely feeling is more than the physical exhaustion of caring for children, it’s emotional exhaustion as well!
There’s a good reason for this. In the first few years of a child’s life, and to varying degrees right through to adulthood, a massive amount of emotional development takes place. Children need emotional nutrition in the form of energy from their parents and caregivers to fuel their emotional development. I liken this to a kind of emotional SUPERFOOD or GREEN JUICE for the BRAIN which we talked about in Module Three. Children literally cannot develop a healthy attachment which enables them to feel really good about themselves and to be great in relationships and life, unless they have this. It’s no wonder you’re feeling so drained. Your child is sucking the green juice life out of you!
This means that YOU need extra fuel more than EVER BEFORE. You need extraordinary self-care of the clever kind (we’ll get to that soon). You need to be learning new ways to cultivate your energy and minimise energy leaks.
Along with self-care, when you learn powerful inner skills to transform, you become a better version of yourself and this hugely impacts your child… without you having to ‘teach’ a thing.
In summary, you need both- extraordinary self-care (Green Juice for your brain) & inner healing & skills to transform (Mama Transformation), along with good boundaries to protect your precious energy.
Protecting your mama energy with good boundaries
Earlier we talked about energy leaks. This is where your energy gets drained unnecessarily and often without you even knowing it. This can happen when your boundaries are not attuned to your needs.
Your energy vitality is affected by HOW you boundary with your child and with others in your life. In module three we talked about the two approaches to boundary setting that are needed (dissolving some and bringing others in closer), and the most typical results when these are unbalanced– the out-of-control mother and the disconnected mother.
Similar to the ‘out-of-control mother’ you might be a YES person and need to ‘bring your boundary in closer’. This can happen when you’re too focussed on the needs of others and not on your own. You may need to prioritise YOUR needs more, in relationship to other adults and society expectations, for the sake of yourself and your child’s increased energy requirements. By doing this you’re also modelling to your child the importance of expressing our desires, and honouring and asking for what we need to stay balanced.
Similar to the ‘disconnected mother’ you might be too rigid and need to relax and let go of any unreasonable expectations of yourself and ‘move your boundary out further’. You could be missing out on an abundance of energy available to you in the ‘now’ moment, which you can access when you relax more and connect with the pleasure and joy energy that may be right under your nose! If this is the case it would be helpful for you to use some of the ‘green juice’ practices below to soften your body more, open your awareness to the gorgeous connection opportunities with your child and others, and invite more flexibility into the way you think and act and make decisions about what ‘rules’ are really necessary.
EXERCISE: Go to your ‘Lasting Change For My Gorgeous Mamahood’ Playsheet and fill in the ‘Protecting My Energy’ section. You might like to share your discoveries in the Facebook Village. Download here.
Pain Body Healing
Your Pain Body, which was introduced in Module One is a form of energy depletion. It saps your energy and can make you feel tired and moody. The Pain Body patterning is wanting to be healed. While external self care is essential to keep yourself in a good place, if you want real transformation you need to strengthen your practice of inner work as well.
I’ll be explaining a powerful neuroscience technique, Mama Transformation, to help your brain grow and transform these pain body experiences into ones that have less hold on you. At the same time you’ll be training your brain to notice and find evidence for the ‘good things in your life’, harness the transformative powers of embodiment, and develop the neural pathways for the qualities that you deeply desire.
Download the guidebook or continue below.